Monday, January 08, 2007

Dinner Conversations from Our Biotechnology Future

"What do you mean, you don't 'want' to go to Harvard? We paid over 300 grand to make you, buddy! Like hell you're not going to Harvard!"


"Did you hear? The Clarks' baby hatched with a deformed arm!"
"What?! Are you serious? But ArtiWomb has such a great reputation for quality control -- how could that happen?"
"I know, I know, but apparently one of their technicians screwed up and it wasn't caught beforehand. Poor Tim and Marsha were actually in the hatching room ready to receive the kid when one of the techs spotted it."
"Well, I certainly hope they are suing those incompetent bastards!"
"You bet they are!"
"But what about the crippled kid? What are they going to do?"
"The company was decent enough to euthanize it for free, thank goodness. I mean, who wants a reminder like that hanging around?"


"Mom, why didn't you make me with big boobs? Mine are so small… and flat…"
"Honey, how many times do I have to tell you? Your breasts are fine! And you're still growing, anyway!"
"Kaitlynne and Alexxiss got designed with big tits and they get all the attention! Boys don't even know I exist…"
"I've told you before, honey, we felt a good brain was the most important thing, and that appearance doesn't matter that much."
"Well it DOES! I HATE you!" [slam!]

[Later than evening]

[Knock knock] "Honey? Are you there?"
"…go away…"
"Your father and I talked, and we decided to buy you new breasts for your birthday. We'll go to OrganGro tomorrow and let you pick whichever kind you want. They can graft them on you in time for the prom."
"Really?" [Door opens] "Oh Mom, you're the greatest!"


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